My Year for Underachieving: Why I Have No Goals in 2015
Ok, I admit, the title is a little misleading. But at the end of last year I felt like I couldn’t have one more goal, I couldn’t deal with one more achievement to strive for. I had burned myself out. It felt good to say “I have no goals in 2015 other than to just be.” In 2014 I did not have time for friends, family, or myself. I had such little flexibility to let days, evenings, and weekends take me wherever they led. And you know what? That sucks.
I wrote the below post in January and then I didn't publish it. I'm not sure why I didn't but then I saw this Humans of New York post:
I'm not the only one with this problem! For me to not set some sort of major milestone in my life is really hard - I'm an overachiever. I felt so stretched thin the past few years I needed to change it up by doing something 'radical' for myself - zero goals. Since we're at that mid-year reflection point, I wanted to share what I wrote for myself at the beginning of this year. I'm proud to say that I've done a pretty good job at living life freely without the self-imposed bounds of reaching major goals. I hope that this motivates you to do the same if that's what you need in your life.
________________________________________
January 2015
Ok, I admit, the title is a little misleading. But at the end of last year I felt like I couldn’t have one more goal, I couldn’t deal with one more achievement to strive for. I had burned myself out. It felt good to say “I have no goals in 2015 other than to just be.” In 2014 I did not have time for friends, family, or myself. I had such little flexibility to let days, evenings, and weekends take me wherever they led. And you know what? That sucks.
When I spoke to my friend Justin this week, who I admire as a entrepreneur and wonderful person overall, I mentioned my no goals objective. He said point blank: “No you can’t. You’re not that type of person and neither am I.” I thought to myself “UGH I know but that’s why I must force myself to have no goals!” Justin continued, “It’s not about not having goals, it’s about load balancing. The goal is focus on yourself.”
Damn, that’s a good point.
But for me there is clarity and comfort knowing that what I will focus on in 2015 is totally loose. And I’m not thinking about my focus as goals but as guidelines that I may or may not try to follow.
Just FYI, my inner Type A voice is going crazy right now.
I wanted to share this with you because it feels good to commit to nothing, in writing (sorry, Type A coming out). I also wanted to share my thoughts in case you might be feeling burned, and are looking for a reason to underachieve the only way a Type A person can - by creating your personal anti-goals.
- I’d like to do more yoga and running but I don’t care if I progress in my practice or hit any PRs. #antigoal2015
- I’m going to hang out with my friends a lot more, but I’m not going to plan out my social calendar. I’ll let you know in advance when I’m flaking. #antigoal2015
- I’d like to write more for myself, but it’s ok if I don’t. #antigoal2015
- Career goals? Be kickass for HandUp, but I’m not pre-defining where I think I should be at the end of 2015. #antigoal2015
- Be healthy, but I’m cool with a few meat cheats and will most likely still drink too much bourbon. #antigoal2015 #vegfriendlymostly
- Be the seriously best girlfriend I can be, but sometimes I might still leave dishes in the sink. #antigoal2015
What this will really allow me to do is be present: in my relationship, for friends and family, and enjoy living my life fully. I hope you have a 2015 filled with anti-goals, if that’s what you want.
A Move Closer to Social Impact: My New Role at HandUp
My last three years have been focused on Community at Twilio, growing our community from 50,000 to over 300,000 developers, expanding the team, and ensuring our community strategy scaled as the company grew from startup to grown up. One of the programs that fell under my wing was the launch and development of Twilio.org, a program for nonprofits using communications technologies to amplify their impact.
My last three years have been focused on Community at Twilio, growing our community from 50,000 to over 300,000 developers, expanding the team, and ensuring our community strategy scaled as the company grew from startup to grown up. One of the programs that fell under my wing was the launch and development of Twilio.org, a program for nonprofits using communications technologies to amplify their impact. This brought me closer to technology for good in action and the real impact it can have at the local and global level. To be totally honest, my growing disenchantment with the startup world was combated by playing a small part in helping social good organizations make a difference through technology. I'm so proud of Team Twilio, my work there, and look forward to their continued success as I move to my next adventure. I'm thrilled to share that I've joined the team at HandUp, a direct donations site for people in need. This team has taken an MVP product and created a powerful platform that is already making a difference in how we (like you and me) can provide direct assistance to homeless people. Part of their mission that struck me deeply was to create a better understanding of what homelessness is in America and the wide spectrum of what "people in need" really means. I hope you'll explore our HandUp members to lean more and let you see exactly how you can contribute:
Jeff was kicked in the head when sleeping on the street. The impact knocked his front teeth loose so he can no longer play his flute which was his way of generating income. He is $500 away from getting the dental work he needs. Give Jeff a HandUp.
Davalyn found herself living on the streets after losing her job, but working with Project Homeless Connect and HandUp she was able to raise donations for a street vendor license in just one week. Now Davalyn is able to sell her handmade knitted items as a source of income, working towards her goal of nursing school. Give Davalyn a HandUp.
Rodney is paraplegic and currently homeless in San Francisco. He has become passionate about physically integrated dance that combines people with and without disabilities. Rodney has toured the states performing and won an award. Rodney has been able to raise funds to repair his wheelchair and get the nutrition he needs, but needs to secure housing for himself. Give Rodney a HandUp. Onwards.
Nothing Good Happens After Midnight and Other Life Lessons from my Dad
I recently started really contemplating some of the top tips and life lessons my dad gave me over the past 28 years (I guess this would be adulthood?). Everything from direct advice to what I've picked up from his actions in life. So for Father's Day, I share some of these life lessons that impacted who I am today. Thanks dad!
I recently started really contemplating some of the top tips and life lessons my dad gave me over the past 28 years (I guess this would be adulthood?). Everything from direct advice to what I've picked up from his actions in life. So for Father's Day, I share some of these life lessons that impacted who I am today. Thanks dad!
Nothing good happens after midnight
This wasn't just life advice, it was actually a rule until I moved out of the house. Worst curfew ever. While in my life I found many situations where I did have very positive experiences late into the night, this life lesson is actually pretty accurate. Only those crazy kids and hoodlums stay out past midnight, and everytime I got myself into trouble, it was after the bewitching hour.
Have six months reserve in your bank account before you invest in anything
My dad has provided me with a plethora of financial advice, from the basics to investing to real estate. He's managed every aspect of his money his entire life to this day and to say the least, knows what he's talking about. The one thing he's had on repeat to me from the past 10 years is this: have six months reserve of cash in your bank account. Our generation might say "that is cray", but it really is some of the most solid financial advice you can use.
Go out of your way to help others
My dad's never explicitly told me to do this, but his actions speak louder than words. He's a real DIY-er, he's a photographer, he's a carpenter, he gardens, he boats, if it's broken he can fix it, and apparently he can kill snakes really well as that's the latest I hear the neighborhood is asking for. With all of these skills he gets called on a lot for help, both from the fam and from...well it seems like the entire town he lives in. He doesn't hesitate to provide assistance to others, and he's very humble about it. I've always thought this is an important quality in people and have tried to emulate where I can. Once my mom said "Your father does a lot of things for other people and never takes the credit." While some other life lessons have taught me that you have to sometimes loudly take credit, the essence of this should drive how you interact with your fellow humans. We all have talents and will be called upon to use them. Be humble, help others.
Take care of your things
A no brainer, eh? Here's an example: I never missed an oil change on any of my cars and I thank my dad for this. I don't take things for granted because I appreciate the value and hard earned money invested in them. Money doesn't grow on trees, take care of your things. I'm tired of "this is why we can't have nice things" schtick.
Don't stop learning, ever
As per mentioned above, my dad has a lot of skills and interests. He retired at 55 from an engineering job at Alcoa and the first things I remember him doing was taking a part-time job at the local newspaper as a photographer and signing up for a gardening class (so he could landcape our yard himself, obviously). He's an incredible inspiration to me to continue learning new things. Then one day when you're retired you can build your own boat, just because.
You have to have hobbies in life
I bet you could guess my dad has a lot of hobbies! One thing I noticed growing up is that my dad worked really hard, but came home and enjoyed time with family, and worked on his own fun projects. What it taught me was how important it is to have interests and hobbies outside work, this is where you find happiness with friends and family. I was lucky to have a father who was involved and also had enough cool hobbies to share with me when I was growing up.
These are just a few things that my dad taught me about life, and greatly impacted who I am today. Thank you dad for this and more, from teaching me how to fish, for always making sure I had a tool box in my apartments, giving me both some left brain and right brain capabilities and always being there.
